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A Voice in the Wilderness

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there's a twilight where everything remains seemingly unchanged, and it is in such twilight that we must be aware of change in the air, however slight, lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness. -- William O. Douglas

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Lights of Albuquerque - Jim Glaser

Desert moon, lights the freeway up tonight,
Chevy van, how I wish that you could fly.
Gotta get to her and tell her I was wrong,
But I'm still such a long, long way from home,
And the road goes on, on and on, on and on.

But the Lights of Albuquerque, will soon be shining bright, Like a diamond in the desert, like a beacon in the night. And I wonder if she'll take me back, will she understand? Will the Lights of Albuquerque, shine for me again?

Thinking back, to the foolish things I said.
Looking out, at the white lines up ahead.
Gonna tell her I can't make it on my own.
Oh, this empty feeling won't leave me alone.
It goes on and on, on and on, on and on

But the Lights of Albuquerque, will soon be shining bright,
Like a diamond in the desert, like a beacon in the night.
And I wonder if she'll take me back, will she understand?
Will the Lights of Albuquerque, shine for me again?


On Writing

Our passions may unite us. They may divide us. For me, this realization is equally astonishing but mostly, it is reassuring. I have experienced what it is to be admired and loved as it is to be despised and hated for what I represent or, more importantly, what people believe me to be - or not.

I love to write and what I appreciate most about it is being able to share my thoughts with so many people - thanks to the internet and more specifically, this blog - I know that despite disparate differences between writers and their readership by lifestyle, culture and geography, we all share in a certain commonality of the heart. We share an appreciation for our Humanity. It is my hope that such acknowledgment breeds respect and tolerance.

My writing style has been criticized as being ostentatious, obtuse and excessive in my use of cliches. I appreciate the criticizms because, despite the spirit in which they were delivered, they turned out to be correct. I thank my critics because they have offered me valuable lessons; my writing can always stand improvement. Regardless of where people have stood with me, I always enjoyed the dialogue.

Thus, admire to anyone who has chosen this craft for a livelihood. I am not unfamiliar with sacrifice and I suppose if the truth be known, I will never quit writing but I suspect there are much greater writers who think more broadly and possess the unique ability to see the world in a way that is novel and - more importantly - marketable.

Thank Heaven for the writers and the artists because, History readliy reveals they truly can change the world.

The Interim

I love to write. However, issues running from meeting my personal responsibilities to burn-out have brought me to this impasse. I've come to find that writing is a luxury. I simply cannot afford to devote so much of my attention to. Reviewing my Stat Counter, I have noticed that despite my very limited postings - which have not been all that original or thought provoking - I have a loyal following of people and I thank you for honoring me enough to drop by and visit this site on occasion. This post is for you.

I really haven’t posted much in my blog since Dad died. His death left me with an indescribable emptiness which I have still not quite come to terms with. Moreover, it has revealed the temporary nature of my/our existence on Earth. Finally, Dad’s death has also ripped open some long-standing familial scars – scars that I thought had healed long ago. Consequently, my predominant feeling is a sense of foreboding – I am afraid we are coming apart as a family - because I am not entirely convinced these wounds, born out of childhood, can ever heal. Hopefully, one day we as siblings, can honor Daddy’s memory by trusting, believing in, and supporting each other the way he continually encouraged us to do throughout our lives.

My daughter was married in October and it was a spectacular event, very traditional New Mexican wedding - Mariachi's performed at the mass and later on at the reception. Although a good time was had by all - I really wish Daddy could have been there. My son-in-law is a good man - I love him very much. He and Jaja are the best of friends. Less than a month after their wedding, we found out that Kris is going to have baby number two. She is due around mid-August. So, I am going to be a grandpa for the second time - the ultrasound has revealed Jaja is going to have a little sister.

I recently purchased a home that came with two dogs, two goats and one sheep and one cat. I also took in two more dogs and another cat.

Meet "Nubie" - her previous owners had her scheduled to go off to the slaughterhouse along with Lovie and Pearl. This news was sprung on me at closing when I was also notified they would be taking the two dogs, Sukie and Mika off to the Vet's to be put down (the sellers decided to get rid of everything and move to Italy).

Nubie is a Nubian Goat - papered and, I'm told, pretty valuable as goats go - although I must admit, I know nothing about sheep and goats. My naiveté got me swindled by a local the first time I bought hay - the guy sold me straw which makes great bedding but poor food. ...Tuition money I call it.

One of my dearest friend's wife was killed in a vehicle collision and I’ve spent a whole lot of time just being there with him - he's pretty lost and her unexpected death has wrought havoc on his life.

My service truck broke down in late January and it has been a nightmare getting it repaired - two months, a couple thousand dollars later and it still remains in the shop so I am forced to drive my favorite albeit old Chevy pickup which is terrible on gas - did I mention the *&!#@! rise in gas prices? I commute to and from Albuquerque daily. The good news is that business is picking up again and the S.A.D. season is nearly over.

Mattie applied for and received an internship with one of the world's largest corporations and is enjoying it tremendously. He doesn't have to get dirty and gets to communicate with people throughout the US, Canada and England. I miss him; between the truck problems and his leaving the company, I have to say it isn't the same anymore - the fun has gone out of it for me. I miss my buddy - lots.

My brother's divorce is nearing its end and he seems to be doing a lot better. Devastation has given way to resignation and acceptance. His faith is stronger than ever and he is that much the better for it. Witnessing his struggle has been inspirational because, in the end, he has stayed away from pettiness and using the children as pawns in the disgusting game of divorce.

So, that’s what’s happening in my life – what’s happening in yours?

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Smoke Rings In The Dark - Gary Allan

Smoke Rings in the Dark
Gary Allan

Well I won't make you tell me
What I've come to understand
You're a certain kind of woman and
I'm a different kind of man
I've tried to make you love me
You're tried to find a spark of the flame that burned and
Somehow turned to smoke rings in the dark

The loneliness within me
Takes a heavy toll
'Cause it burns as slow as whiskey through an empty aching soul and
The night is like a dagger
Long and cold and sharp
As I sit here on the front steps
Blowing smoke rings in the dark

I- I- I know I must be going
'Cause loves already gone and
All I'm taking with me are the pieces of my heart and
All I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark

The rain falls where it wants to
Wind blows where it will
Everything on earth goes somewhere
But I swear we're standin' still
So I'm not going to wake you
I'll go easy on your heart
I'll just touch your face and drift away
Like smoke rings in the dark

I- I- I know I must be going
'Cause loves already gone and
All I'm taking with me are the pieces of my heart and
All I'll leave are smoke rings in the dark


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