Mayor Marty's Upcoming Public Service Announcment on under-age drinking

Mayor Marty
in da house!!!
Fearlessly takes on Under-age Drinking

He reaches out to the public with feigned concern over crime while surreptitiously working to make end-runs around the Constitution.

He targets first-time DWI offenders and rises to the occasion in support of legislation to protect our youth from sexual predators but remains strangely silent about either alcohol consumption or the perils of drinking booze by under-age minors.

Cameras Please!

With such a media event arising when his daughter was recently caught underage drinking and her failed attempt to elude the police, the Mayor could have made a sincere attempt to address alcohol abuse. Why didn't he? Where was the press conference like the one he recently had with APD Chief Ray Schultz & Nadine Milford? Or, like when he had MADD's Executive Director, Terri Huertaz at his side when he signed the seizure ordinance into effect?

According to their website, New Mexico MADD's agenda is to have youthful DWI offenders lose their driver's license until age 21. Bearing this in mind, and considering his flair for the dramatic, wouldn't it have been precious if Mayor Chavez proposed yet another expensive attack on civil rights by pushing for automatic dismissal of driving rights for kids caught boozing it up under age?

What's a few more thousand dollars added to the already $35,000.00 the city has spent in defending itself against the spate of unconstitutional ordinances it has passed because the Mayor is pandering to the public with emotional but Constitutionally un-sound appeals?

How about an ad that is scripted something like this:

Where is the TV camera. Okay, rolling... Action!

Camera pans from blue sky to Martin Chavez with a group of kids sitting on yellowed grass with bikes by their sides - the Mayor's trusty dog, 'Dukes' is sitting next him - on a leash of course. Marty is sporting a dapper chartruse skin-tight cycling shirt that has, "Mayor Marty's Beer Trash'n Crew" on it. To complete the outfit, he is wearing sexy black lycra cycling shrts - the kind that show off his physique and his ummm 'manhood!'

They are at Tiguex park., by the Albuquerque Museum.

Marty casually plucks a blade of grass from his teeth and waxes poetic on how he decided the sun should come up in the East today. He thanks the hung-over teenagers for getting their parents to vote for him, he flicks the blade of grass away, raises his portly chin, and points his index finger in a sweeping motion at the kids. In his rich, baritone voice, he says, 'Yo! Rememb'ah kids, Mayor Mar-tay says, 'Only naugh-tay people drink and drive! That ain't dope y'all'"

Dukes yelps on cue and the kids all break into laughter; they weakly stand up and have a group hug - a kumbaya kind of moment. The camera then pans toward the Rocket across the street and the words "Mayor Martay, always up for bein' down wit the Q-town!" boldly flash on the screen.

Snoop Dogg's, Drop it like its Hot begins to play in its characteristic undulating tone......

The picture morphs into that monstrous graffiti graphic the Mayor has recently tagged his campaign headquarters wall with; it fades to purple as Marty waves back at the pimply-faced, shit-faced youth. He yells, "Yo! I'm off to conquer the Tour de France!"

In truth he's really off with Guv Big Bill's
posse copulatis - the Wild West Show
first off to New Hampshire to test the Presidential Hot tub out
and then on to the whirl-wind European Tour
ooooo Mar-tay is a GBB Groupie!

The words, "Sponsored by West Side Developers" scrolls across the screen ....

THE END

Dick Knipfing's voice dubs over and says,

Pimpin aint easy, thats fo' sho'
Yo! this is a Shout out! Vote fo' Snoop Mayor Martay.....

Can I get a "Hell yeah! West Side!"

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